Kay Tagal

Hay... ang tagal din bago ako nakapagpost ng new entry dito sa aking buhay na buhay na blog.
Well, my first post was for the month of May. SO...after 4 months, what's new?

Uhm...wala naman. I am a year older na ( i turned 22 last Sept 14). And I have a new job (thank God!). So aside from that, WALA NA. Nothing else changed except for my age and company ID.

Its the same thing for me everyday, like a routine and I'm so tired of it. I am like a robot that is programmed to do the same thing again and again and again and it sucks!

I may look like I'm happy pero NO. I miss my family. I miss my friends in bacolod. I miss my younger me. I remember when I was still a kid, I can play even if I'm alone. I didnt have any playmates except for my cousins and we always fight thats why I preferred playing on my own.
Now, I'm not that independent anymore. Now that I'm older and exposed to the real world, I realized that I am weak,a brat and selfish. And all of this because of one person.

It may be my fault because I allowed him to enter my world and let him rule because I know he loves me. But then with that happiness, comes along sadness and pain. And i was not prepared.

I know there is no such thing as a perfect relationship...I don't want a perfect relationship. What I want is for him to be mine completely. It's hard for me to accept that there are some things that came first in his life before me and he needs to attend to them.
It hurts me when I only have 1 day in a week to be with him. Its not enough for me. I hate it when he drives me home after spending time together, it means i will again be alone. And I am not used to it anymore.

I want to change. Change meaning I would be okay even if I am not with him. Change meaning i should be thankful because of that 1 day that I could be with him. Change meaning i should be patient in waiting for the time to come that he will be mine completely.

I know i can do it...in time. And when that time comes, I wont complain being like a robot doing the same thing again and again and again... because I know it wont happen anymore. Because I will be very happy and contented. Because it will be the time when "you and me " will become "us" ;)

hehe...seryoso ng enty na to noh? Till next time!

Au revoir,
Isay